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Our Favorite Help Desk Funnies of 2016!

IT network service providers have long lists of help desk requests that come in. Of course, none of us at Carolinas Net Care ever get to add any of our own because, well, our clients just know more about IT than most. (Wink. Wink.)

But here are a few we heard, saw and read this year. What’s your favorite?

Conversations.

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one…

Customer: I have problems printing in red…
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah………………..thank you.

Tech support: Your password is the small letter ‘a’ as in apple, a capital letter ‘V’ as in Victor, and the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

Customer: “Hello. I can’t get on the network.”
Tech Support: “Ok. Just read me your asset number so we can open an outage.”
Customer: “What is that?”
Tech Support: “That little barcode on the front of your computer.”
Customer: “Ok. Big bar, little bar, big bar, big bar . . .”

Stories.

A tech support person asked a user if she could right click on her desktop so she could select properties and she said nothing was happening. Again the tech support person asked kindly if she could right click on her desktop again and tell me what she sees. Again she said “nothing is happening.” After walking to the users office, she saw the word “click” written in ink on a paper tablet on her desktop.

A customer was having trouble installing Microsoft Word.” When he called Tech Support, he was asked “tell me what you’ve done.” The customer replied, “I typed ‘A:SETUP’.”
“Sir,” the support person said, “remove the disk and tell me what it says.” “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.” The tech support person replied, “Insert the MS Word setup disk.” “What?” asked the customer. “Did you buy MS word?” “No…”

Last year, I took a call from an elderly woman who just purchased a computer. A virus scan message appeared on her screen. Before she called me however, she went to the drugstore in her neighborhood and bought a bottle of cough syrup and actually said to me that, since the computer had a virus, she figured that she should give it cold medicine! Every time I think of this, it makes me laugh! I’m glad for her sake she took the time to call me first! ”

A lady opened a Service Request but provided minimal information as to what the problem was. As part of our agreement, I was required to go on-site and try to help her. I didn’t really know what to expect, but upon arrival to the user’s site the problem became crystal clear. Turns out she had problem “installing” her Christmas tree. The lights were not flashing. It was funny and frustrating at the same time, as I had to travel 45 minutes to get to the site. But in the end, she had the perfect Christmas tree.

I was asked to solve the following Adobe Reader issue:

And just one more…

Last winter a user submitted a ticket for me to make the snow stop. This occurred in January and I closed the ticket in May. Job done, sometimes it just takes a while.

Happy Holidays!

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